Monthly archives: August, 2016

After knocking repeatedly on the door, gazing at its imposing appearance, and wondering if someone was on the other side of this door, you found no response. For some unknown reason your imagination suddenly began to run wild. It appeared as if an attempt was being made to hijack your mind to exit your body and make a mad dash for the cliffs. Clarity drifted in and out with a feeling of being drugged up and unable to move or think clearly. Everything in your mind was moving in slow motion. It was as if you could hear, but not hear; you could see, but not see. Your mental images were blurry – scattered – disheveled like a bookcase full of books completely out of order – in disarray. You were unable to focus or fathom your surroundings. You realized there seemed to appear an unseen dark force driving your conscience to keep you distracted. You noticed you were disoriented and frustrated. You were off balance with a strange feeling you never realized until this occurred. So you walked away from the door.

Time went by and you came back to the door. Knocking repeatedly again and again, listening more and more attentively for the sounds of footsteps. You heard nothing. The unseen dark force came back again and surrounded you. You were more aware of what was happening to you than you were before. You felt like a surfer waiting for the great wave to ride – only to find you missed it. Your thoughts flooded over you like a raging river. This time you became angry enough to fight back until you became exhausted. You needed to find a place to rest. In your mind you thought of finding shade under a willow tree.You began questioning yourself. Then a spider descended down from the heavens. You wondered if this was real or some sort of delusion. In your struggle and frustration your mind filled with these three strange words, ” Ask, Seek, and Knock.” This continued to percolate as you ruminated its meaning for your life. You could not understand. Your thoughts were cluttered and before you realized it, the words slipped underneath the crack of the door. They disappeared like a driver lost in the Tule fog of California unable to see anything.

It was a while until you came back to the door, but you were much more attentive than ever of this unseen dark force. You concentrated to let nothing interfere with your thoughts about the strange words “Ask, Seek, and Knock.” You let nothing distract you. Then the door opened slowly and easily.
A blinding light hit your eyes like a bright yellow sun. You could not see anything at first but black dots. You squinted and somewhat covered your eyes, but noticed the door stayed open. Your eyes finally adjusted to the light. You focused your thinking and heard,” Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7) A complete feeling of loneliness came over you. It was like being in a long long line for some Broadway play or music concert to begin after waiting for hours and hours. Then all of a sudden the line started to move steadily and faster just like on the broad road, and you knew you needed to keep in step or be trampled upon. Your struggles formed into an explosion of unexpected tranquility. An unusual calmness and peace came over you like the ocean waves in the early summer morning, the swishing sounds of waves in and out upon the seashore. A warm feeling came over you like some kind of liquid peace had entered your veins.

Then a new reality poured into your soul. You now could somewhat hear what you could not hear; you could somewhat  see what you could not see.Your soul was dancing like a Pied Piper with his lute playing to the children.  But you knew this was different, that you were being wooed by the Spirit of love, that you had been drawn to the door of light and life eternal. No longer were you in the thick dark Schwarzwald of your soul – in a deep sound sleep like Rip Van Winkle. So now you are standing at the threshold of the door of opportunity. What is keeping you from crossing over? Why are you hesitating?

Soren Kierkegaard said, ” Christianity or becoming a Christian is like every radical cure: One puts it off as long as possible,”

Françoise